He's just not that into me.

So i'm a sucker for chick flicks... but chick flicks with a message get to me even more. earlier this evening, well it was more like the 11oclock showing, I watched He's Just Not That Into You with mai and sharon. First, i loved the film. Even though one of the characters i know had to emulate a lot of the horrible stories of women being really really embarassing, i know that there was something in her that a lot of girls could relate to. If you've ever read the book... it's done so well. but it made me think about my stupid things i had done in the past concerning guys and this movie makes me remember how the book really affected me...

Back in freshman year i had THE biggest crush on a guy. I totally thought that this was it. He was mr. perfect. We had class together and one day while i was waiting for a friend he introduced himself to me. After some small talk, we exchanged numbers and what i would like to say was the rest was history stopped there. So he never called me and later i find out that he was actually in a relationship. But I didn't care, because like any girl, i was blind. We continued to have class together and talk here and there, but nothing ever happened. But I couldn't help but feel grossly young and giddy whenever i was around him. Eventually, he went away, graduated, but something funny had started. We started to write emails to one another. And i mean, really really extensive ridiculous emails. Can one really flirt through emails? I'm not quite sure... but nevertheless, they became the BANE of my existence. I mean really horrible stuff. I would write to him immediately, write longer emails, anticipate his emails, and hope that we had this "connection." But one day, my friend passes me this book He's Just Not That Into You, and it's clarity. Like a breath of fresh air after it rains in a month of drought.WHO WAS I KIDDING!? he didn't see me in this way at all... he didn't care to call me, he didn't care to see me more than a friend, he didn't care about me the way i cared about him. but the way i would talk about him to my girlfriends really would make it sound like things were going great! That he enjoyed talking to me and that in fact he might just be interested. but nothing happened. the emails continued but he was as platonic as he could be and i was so lost. i read into them like they were love letters in beautiful gmailing font and picked at every word. I became this helpless thing that obsessed over something that clearly had no interest in me. The book spoke truth and the movie did as well ... well, in a very hollywood kind of way. I learned that i really needed to stop kidding myself into believing that whatever i had between this guy was "real." That nothing can be clear unless he has clearly made the move, and he clearly didn't and this stupid cat and mouse ordeal lasted for so long that it's embarassing to even say how long... like me confessing this story here. But in any case, I learned a lot about myself and how easily i can fall into this horrific catagory of being that girl, that dumb girl. But i've lifted myself out of it and tread waters carefully yet with an open mind. Because even if stupid things like this happen, it doesn't make me lose hope that there is a good guy out there that suits me and pursues me for in everyway i pursue him.

so

all in all. watch the movie. It's good.